One of the Hardest Things

Tonight I suspended my Facebook account. It was harder than I thought it would be.  I inbox-messaged most of my family & friends to tell them that I was going to be doing this & why.  I then started receiving messages in return: "why would you do that?" "you have blessed me greatly!" "I love your pictures!" "I will miss you!"  When I finally got around to doing it, I cried.  This was a place that I connected with them.  As my cousin said this was a place for her to connect with us.

You see, God has been convicting me for quite awhile about the amount of time I spend on Facebook.  I still had my time with Him, wonderful times with many blessings & answered prayers.  But I would check Facebook often during a day & I was feeling convicted.  What would start out as just checking in, would end up being hours lost.  Because I am such a people person, I couldn't just get right off.  I had been praying a long time for even more of God, but He kept telling me that I was hindering Him.

Yesterday's services were so good, so convicting!  The hand of God was upon me & I knew it.  In the morning service, Pastor Bill talked about being intentional with your walk with God.  He said that if we were to stand before God's throne, how would we rate our relationship to Him?  He spoke from I Cor. 9:24-27 about running the race in such a way as to get the prize.  Paul was saying to be intentional, not willy-nilly like a boxer beating the air.  When I read that passage, my eyes fell on verse 27 where Paul talks about making your body your slave & not the other way around - another point to add to making your life intentional - so as to win as many as possible (v:19).  I have not been intentional enough.  My heart was convicted to the core!

Then in the evening service, Pastor Mike spoke out of I Peter 3:3-4.  We are not to be adorned on the outside, be a shallow Christian, but be real to the core of your being.  Is the Lord saying to us, "But your heart is not mine."  He told us that the enemy comes in subtle compromises. I think that's where I have gotten to.  God sees great potential in us, but we don't live up to that potential.  The hand of God was upon me one more time.  I went to the altar, got down on my face before Him & cried in repentance.  I knew what I had to do.

I have gone through this before with the TV.  When I was a young mother, I got caught up in watching it most my waking hours.  I felt so far from God, so numb.  But I wanted a closer relationship with him.  He said then that TV was my god.  I spent way more time at its feet than His.  Ouch!  Finally one evening while doing the dishes, again I cried out to Him. I clearly heard Him in an audible voice say, "Then get rid of that TV." Period, end of story.  It just so happened to be trash night, soooo . . .  yes, I threw it out. In the garbage. That was being picked up the very next day. And I did not get it back out.  I told my husband & he said that it was about time!

Once I did that, I took that time in the evenings & spent it in worship with Him.  It seemed like those few hours flew by.  God began to open doors, yes doors, to ministry.  My time with Him became sweeter & more powerful.  His anointing flowed like never before.  I wouldn't give that up for the world!  So here I am again. I know what is ahead.  There is such a fight, but it's worth it.  The rewards out weigh it all!

The Fight is On

It is interesting how the Lord brings us through seasons.  God uses these seasons to grow us in ways we wouldn't flourish any other way.  As time goes on I am astounded by the mercy and wisdom of God! Why? I'm not really sure because He is God.  Maybe it's more my discovery of Who He is.

God had brought me, quite a few years ago, through a season of fasting and spiritual warfare.  I felt called to prayer, but most especially spiritual warfare.  The battles were in tense.  During that time we lost my husband's brother, then a year later my own mother.  God taught me much in those years of great trial.  But I got so weary in the battles. I rarely had joy. I felt heavy laden with the burdens I was carrying.

Soon I began to question whether doing spiritual warfare was the most effective way to deal with the enemy. In my turmoil, I had asked the Lord if worship wouldn't be the better way to go.  And He began to take me down that road of learning.  That was a wonderful season of sitting at His feet.  I began to study all the worshipers of the Bible.  The Holy Spirit was gracious in teaching me.  I learned not only to use music to re-center my focus, but also learned to express worship without using other people's words. Now there was an exercise in growth! Oh my! I was becoming a David of the Bible. This was a tough lesson for me because I am NOT one who can articulate well.  I default to phrases that I already knew, but God insisted I be heart-felt. Not only did this take me to a deeper level in Him, but the words I spoke began to increase my faith so much more than before. I remembered the words from Romans 10:17, "Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God."  I was being built up, as well as, being given tools for the fight.

Now I'm beginning to see that God is calling me back into the ring again.  As we have been ministering in Clairton, our eyes are quickly opened to the warfare ensuing all around us.  There isn't a week or a day that goes by that it doesn't smack us right in the face. In doing this Beth Moore Bible study, I am brought right back to the fact that we are in a war for the lives and souls of men, women, and children all around us.  Satan want's the victory, but as Beth reminds us, he can't wear the crown of victory!  

Now I've been given the tools of worship and warfare in the ministry of intercession.  As I go out onto the battle front, I go prepared in prayer and worship.  Then we engage in the warfare.  The Holy Spirit has also helped me to understand the importance of speaking blessings over the area.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for Clairton "the City of Prayer"!

Where 2 or 3 are Gathered . . .

The ladies at the Bible study and I took a break for Christmas. Then we had snow which caused me to cancel our 1st time back. It felt sooo good to get back with these ladies in our study of Revelation with Beth Moore this week!

I have learned with these ladies not to presume what will take place at these meetings, because each and every week is different.  When I arrived there was just 2 joining me and one was sick, but she wanted to listen while we went over the homework.  I am also learning that God sets up each and every situation.  Because I only had a young lady and her mother, she was able to open up.  An on-going exercise that we are to do each week is to share what God has done in your previous week. Since it was prayer week in many churches, I was able to attend many of the services.  I shared how I loved feeling the Presence of God at these meetings.  This young lady, who is one of my hungrier ones, said to me that she had never had that experience and desired it so.  My heart just broke, but I encouraged her that as she desires more of Him and spends time with Him, she will indeed experience Him!

Not long after that, 2 other ladies showed up just in time for the DVD lesson. It surprises me that they can engage so quickly into the lessons, but Beth is that good and wonderfully anointed to reach these ladies.  

During the lesson, Pastor Brent, along with a couple of other people, came in from a city council meeting to share the progress of our ministry acquiring the apartments across the way. So far so good.  These were the apartments that they would in no way give to us, now they are gladly going through the process of letting us have them.  We will be able to tear down walls for a place for the kids to gather and have lessons and to feed them.  When it's done, my ladies will be able to meet for Bible study upstairs.  This will be good because I have young mothers who can't come because their little ones are too young to go to the kids class, but too active to sit during our Bible study.  God never ceases to amaze me!

Would you pray with me:

~ that this young lady is able to feel the Presence of God in her life

~ that the building project meets all the requirements for city council's approval and that renovation goes quickly

~ also that we successfully get a prayer time with these ladies to agree in prayer for their community and that they themselves will pray too