One of the Hardest Things

Tonight I suspended my Facebook account. It was harder than I thought it would be.  I inbox-messaged most of my family & friends to tell them that I was going to be doing this & why.  I then started receiving messages in return: "why would you do that?" "you have blessed me greatly!" "I love your pictures!" "I will miss you!"  When I finally got around to doing it, I cried.  This was a place that I connected with them.  As my cousin said this was a place for her to connect with us.

You see, God has been convicting me for quite awhile about the amount of time I spend on Facebook.  I still had my time with Him, wonderful times with many blessings & answered prayers.  But I would check Facebook often during a day & I was feeling convicted.  What would start out as just checking in, would end up being hours lost.  Because I am such a people person, I couldn't just get right off.  I had been praying a long time for even more of God, but He kept telling me that I was hindering Him.

Yesterday's services were so good, so convicting!  The hand of God was upon me & I knew it.  In the morning service, Pastor Bill talked about being intentional with your walk with God.  He said that if we were to stand before God's throne, how would we rate our relationship to Him?  He spoke from I Cor. 9:24-27 about running the race in such a way as to get the prize.  Paul was saying to be intentional, not willy-nilly like a boxer beating the air.  When I read that passage, my eyes fell on verse 27 where Paul talks about making your body your slave & not the other way around - another point to add to making your life intentional - so as to win as many as possible (v:19).  I have not been intentional enough.  My heart was convicted to the core!

Then in the evening service, Pastor Mike spoke out of I Peter 3:3-4.  We are not to be adorned on the outside, be a shallow Christian, but be real to the core of your being.  Is the Lord saying to us, "But your heart is not mine."  He told us that the enemy comes in subtle compromises. I think that's where I have gotten to.  God sees great potential in us, but we don't live up to that potential.  The hand of God was upon me one more time.  I went to the altar, got down on my face before Him & cried in repentance.  I knew what I had to do.

I have gone through this before with the TV.  When I was a young mother, I got caught up in watching it most my waking hours.  I felt so far from God, so numb.  But I wanted a closer relationship with him.  He said then that TV was my god.  I spent way more time at its feet than His.  Ouch!  Finally one evening while doing the dishes, again I cried out to Him. I clearly heard Him in an audible voice say, "Then get rid of that TV." Period, end of story.  It just so happened to be trash night, soooo . . .  yes, I threw it out. In the garbage. That was being picked up the very next day. And I did not get it back out.  I told my husband & he said that it was about time!

Once I did that, I took that time in the evenings & spent it in worship with Him.  It seemed like those few hours flew by.  God began to open doors, yes doors, to ministry.  My time with Him became sweeter & more powerful.  His anointing flowed like never before.  I wouldn't give that up for the world!  So here I am again. I know what is ahead.  There is such a fight, but it's worth it.  The rewards out weigh it all!